Alone
by blazedveggies556
Summary: Monsters and humans now live together in peace on the Surface thanks to Frisk, the savior of the Underground. Everything's pretty normal. Everyone's going about their daily lives... but... something doesn't feel right to Frisk. There's a lot of things left unexplained. Maybe it's best not to think about it...but...


"My child, I will not be gone for too long!" Toriel assured, but Frisk only clung tighter to her skirt, burying their face in the fabric.

Toriel peered down at the small child, an expression of worry crossing her face.

She reached down to the child's head with a warm paw. She thought for a few moments as she gently parted Frisk's bangs away from their eyes.

"…Perhaps I should cancel my conference with the other instructors. I can always reschedule it for another time. I will stay here, and we can talk about what troubles you over some hot cocoa. How does this sound to you, Frisk?" Toriel asked with a warm smile doing its best to assuage her motherly concern.

Frisk considered the option.

 _She'll be right there in front of me. She can't disappear while she's right in front of me! Everything will feel okay, everything will feel normal…_

… _wait…no. I can't. I can't do this to Mama. She's had this conference planned out for a while. It'd be too much trouble for her to reschedule. Besides… I can't talk to her about… that… she wouldn't believe me…_

Frisk released Toriel's skirt and backed up a few steps from her, shaking their head.

"No? Are you certain my child?"

Frisk looked down at their feet. They hesitated for a moment, shifting their weight off one foot to the other, but then nodded.

Toriel knelt to their level and rested her paws on Frisk's shoulders. "Now Frisk," Toriel began, "you must look at me and answer, so I know you are being truthful. A mother may have eyes on the back of her head, but she certainly does not have them on the carpet!" Frisk giggled a little, and Toriel smiled at her success to lighten her child's mood.

"So, Frisk," Toriel began again, "are you certain? Will you be all right while I am away?"

They lifted their head to look into Toriel's eyes and nodded with a bit more confidence.

 _I'll… I'll be okay. I'm sure of it…_

Toriel stood back up and sighed.

"If I could bring you along with me, I would, but a few of the teachers wish to speak to me privately afterwards, so I would have to leave you by yourself for a while regardless. It will be far past your bedtime when it is over. It is better that you stay home. But do not worry! I was able to ask one of our friends to watch over you".

Just then, there was a playful rap on the door.

"Oh! That must be him now!" she said and winked at Frisk.

She walked to the door and cleared her throat. "Who is there?" she asked in the politest of tones.

"to" a deep voice answered just as politely, but Frisk could hear a few stifled snickers that came from behind the door.

"To who?" Toriel asked.

"tsk tsk tori, it's 'to whom'. and i thought you taught english!" The voice lost its composure and guffawed, and Toriel followed suit.

"Oh! Is that how you wish to play?" Toriel replied. "Then tell me, how high can a skeleton count?"

"don' know. *snrk* how high can a skeleton count?"

"Only to skele-ten!" Toriel exclaimed. As she did, she opened the door to allow sans the skeleton to step inside.

"ouch! you got me right here" sans joked, feigning offense by clutching his non-existent heart.

"Well that is what you get for playing with fire" she beamed, conjuring up a small fire bullet to boot.

As they exchanged a few more jokes and shared some more laughs, Frisk stared at sans.

 _Huh, he's really smiling. It's not just his face this time…He hardly ever does that…but his eyes…he looks so tired…_

… _I thought everyone would be happy with the barrier broken, but… sans… he was okay at first… but after a little while…_

… _he just doesn't seem… happy…_

"f…?"

… _but… how can I be happy…_

"f…sk?"

… _how can I… when everything… can just…but it can't… I won't…but…_

"frisk?"

A light touch on their shoulder jolted Frisk out of their thoughts and they saw two white pupils peering at them, slightly shifting side to side, as if searching for something.

"you all right there, space cadet? called ya like twenty times" sans chuckled. "only wonderin' if you were ready for a fun time. thought you got so excited you broke or somethin'. heh" sans was somewhat amused, but Toriel looked slightly distressed.

"Mmmm… Frisk… I really believe that I should stay. It really would not be any trouble" Toriel looked away in thought. "I could probably postpone the meeting until next Thursday… oh, but I still must write out that exam for next Friday…". She walked off a few feet away to ponder her options to herself.

"(I could do that earlier in the week… oh, but we have our field trip for Monday and I must finish preparations… I could push the trip until next month… but I wanted to do it before the warmer weather pulls in… oh and how could I forget the writing club on Tuesday and Wednesday nights. The children will be reciting their poems on Wednesday… that requires some time… oh dear…)" Toriel furrowed her brow as she puzzled over how she could rearrange her schedule.

sans stepped towards Toriel. Her scrunched face softened as he placed a comforting hand on her arm. "hey, don't worry tori" sans assured. "kid's probably got a lot on their mind, what with them getting used to being ambassador and all. can't blame 'em for spacing out a bit".

"Well yes, that is true…" She stayed silent for a few moments, then knelt closer to the skeleton and lowered her voice to a whisper. "(But earlier they clung to me so tightly as if doing so prevented me from vanishing into thin air. It was quite worrying)".

"(heh heh heh. 'course they wouldn't want you to leave. after venturing the underground so long alone, they'd never want you to leave their sight. they've been with ya twenty-four seven ever since)" sans whispered back. "(but that's why i'm here. i'll keep frisk company while you go attend that meeting. you'll be relieved to get it over with now than later)"

He added a wink. "i goat your back"

The crinkle on Toriel's forehead dissipated and the corners of her lips pulled slightly upward. She patted sans' shoulder. "Thank you, sans. You always seem to know what to say to get this old lady to settle down".

sans stuffed his hands into his pockets, his pupils shifting away to the side, but his grin did not waver. "heh, no problem tori".

Toriel stood back up to full height and walked over to Frisk. She knelt and gave Frisk a hug before she left.

"All right my child. I have decided to leave. There are casseroles in the crockpot for dinner. Go to bed on time! And… be good, all right?"

Frisk rested their forehead on Toriel's and silently breathed out.

 _Everything will be okay… everything will be okay…_

"Okay Mama".

Toriel gave them one final squeeze, then stood back up and headed towards the door. As she opened it, she hesitated to step out. She turned her head slightly to peek at Frisk. sans placed a hand on her arm once again. She smiled weakly, then turned her attention back to the outside. She stepped out, closed the door, and locked it with a soft click.

sans clapped his hands together and turned to the small child. "welp, let's start off this fun evening with a board game or two. then we'll have some dinner and watch a movie or something. how's that sound?"

Frisk perked up.

 _A board game does sound like fun. Toriel bought me a bunch just recently. I haven't gotten a chance to play with anyone yet. Definitely will get my mind off things…_

sans chuckled. "knew you'd like that. you and my brother have a real interest in games. nerds" he teased.

Frisk playfully elbowed sans in his side. sans acted out of breath. "oof! careful kid. i don't gotta lot of spare ribs. if i lose any, it ain't gonna be a pretty pigture".

Frisk giggled, and sans laughed along with them.

"all right, all right. you better hurry and pick something before i get too comfy on the couch. i'm a world-renowned champ at fallin' asleep fast. the world just doesn't know it yet. heh heh heh"

Frisk darted towards the stairs and scrambled up to their room. They threw open their door and stumbled once over their plush carpet, but finally made it to a small cabinet they had next to their bed. Inside were a variety of board games they were eager to share.

 _Let's see…I got So Sorry…um…That's Life…Munopoly…nah, that's more fun with more players…hmm…_

After about five minutes, Frisk still could not decide on a game to play.

 _*sigh*… oh! What if we were to mix the games up together into one giant game and make up the rules as we go along? That would be fun! I'll go tell sans my idea._

They ran out of their room and to the stairwell.

"sa…" they started to say but trailed off when they saw the skeleton dozing away on the couch. He was sitting in an upright position, but his arm was propped up on the armrest, his head leaning against his hand.

 _Well, guess I should've expected that. He did look pretty tired… um… should I wake him up or…?_

Their fingers nervously patted the banister of the stairwell. That feeling of loneliness was creeping up, nearly close enough to breathe down their neck those despairing thoughts all over again. Their heart beat faster as those thoughts were at the edge of their mind now, ready to spill over into an overwhelming flood, trickles of them manifesting as cold droplets of sweat.

They attempted to reach out to the skeleton. "sa––" … but the rest of his name caught in their throat as they thought better of it.

 _I… I can handle this on my own… I don't need to bother sans about it… m-maybe a shower will help? Yeah, the warmth should help…_

They quickly shuffled off back to their room and came out just as quickly with pajamas and a towel in tow. In their haste, they nearly stepped on the creaky part of the floor but avoided it just in time to keep from waking up sans.

They closed the door behind them and slumped against its frame. Their breath shuddered under the weight they so desperately wished would go away.

"… huff… huff… I just… huff… need to relax… huff" they assured themselves.

 _Nothing's going to happen… just one breath in… one breath out…_

Frisk spread their toes out on the floor, feeling the cool tile underneath their feet, letting memories sweep them away from the present, if only for a moment.

They remembered when the house was nearly finished being built and they had forgotten to tell Toriel about the… certain human urgency that happens unceremoniously throughout the day. They felt bad for telling her so late knowing it would take longer before they could move in. At the time, with the monsters moving into town all at once, space was limited and if there was not any room at the inns, then one would have to camp outside until more houses were available. Since their house was almost complete, Toriel gave their room to other monsters who needed it. Now the house needed an additional room and they no longer had a place to stay.

But Toriel was so patient. "Well, this will be a wonderful opportunity to enjoy the fresh air while we settle into bed. And I've wanted some time to step away from my work, so we can gaze at the stars together, and now we can!" she had said, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

Frisk smiled at that memory. During those nights, all their friends had camped out with them. sans, Papyrus, Alphys, Undyne, even Asgore (he had to make sure to give Toriel some space to prevent any unneeded tension, but he was thrilled to be with the group nonetheless). They told stories, made s'mores, and just relished each other's company, something they never got to do while in the Underground. For lack of a better word, it was just… nice.

Vigorous drops of warm water hit Frisk's face, surprising them.

 _I don't remember it raini— oh, right… I'm in the shower. I just don't remember getting in. Eh heh heh..._

It was difficult now-a-days to keep track of what was and what was happening in the present. Why was that, they wondered. Why was their sense of time so off?

… _Well, I do know why… but… I can't think about it… it's too hard…_

Their body tensed, their hands clenched into fists, and their breathing grew heavy.

 _I… can't…_

But the water falling on their face soothed them, coaxing those thoughts to seep out from the dam enclosing them.

… _Maybe the best way to deal with this… is to just think it out… just breathe… and think…_

They braced for impact, opening up the floodgates.

… _it's going to be fine… it's going to be fine…_

The thoughts did not come in sequence, instead coming in droves of jumbled sights and sounds. Frisk waded through the clear waters of their conscious mind, but they knew that the source of their anxiety did not dwell here.

It resided in the murky depths.

That's where… those thoughts were.

That's where…

…the "star" was. The "save point". Whatever it was, it always seemed to be there through their journey. Until after they left the Underground. Then it just… disappeared.

All that was left of it were the memories…

…and what could they make of it? At one time, it seemed to save them from perishing. When they were near… death, a burning sensation would grow in their chest. It was not painful, but it filled them with something like anger, some kind of furious passion from head to toe. Even with the encompassing darkness, they could not give in, they could not give up just yet…

And there they were again where they had last seen its light, but now with greater foresight and a stronger will to continue.

But at other times… it seemed to take longer to return to safety. The darkness would continue to engulf them, and their fury would reach its climax, but nothing happened. How long they would stay in the dark, they could never tell. They just fell deeper into that void, the merciless silence grating on their senses. They would try to cry out, no matter how many times they had been there, but each time the dark was like a vacuum. Nothing for sound to pass through, save for the sound of their rapid heart beat passing by their ears in rushes of blood.

Why would this happen? Why? WHY?

And other times nothing seemed to trigger this rewind in time. One minute they would be exploring the Underground, then in a blink, they were back at the last "save point". No apparent reason for it. Frisk yearned so much for there to be a reason for it. They had started avoiding certain actions that they thought could be behind the occurrence. Maybe if they stepped over here instead of over there, or maybe if they talked to this person first, then this person…

…But nothing worked. The rewind would always happen at random times. Once Frisk reached the surface, it had not happened since… how long before it would happen again…?

 _W-what… i-is there an earthquake?_

When Frisk pried their eyes open, the room seemed to be teetering, but it was not the room. Their body was trembling so much that they were losing balance.

 _N-no. I-I'm fine. I'm fine! If that ever happens, I'll just keep going. T-the last save point was near the entrance surface. And it hasn't been too long since we came to the surface. Y-yeah, yeah! I'll just go from there. Everything will be f––_

But then it struck them. What prevented them from being sent back… all the way to the beginning? And… how many times could that happen? Was it possible… to be stuck in a never-ending loop…?

 _No. N-NO! That couldn't happen! No, I-I wouldn't let it! I-I…!_

It was getting difficult to breathe. It felt like their heart was beating so hard it was squeezing the air out of their lungs with each pump. They placed their hand on the shower wall to try and steady themselves, but it did not feel like they were touching anything. Nothing seemed like it was really there, as if they were on a cloud that was floating higher into the thinning atmosphere. The water droplets pelting their body were not even enough to keep them grounded.

 _I can't… I… can't… I can't… tell anyone… I…!_

They lost their footing in the pool of water that formed in the bathtub. They reached out for anything to help but ended up pulling the shower curtain down with them.

They could not do this alone anymore.

They needed help.

"M… M-Mama! Mama!" they cried out, sobs choking each call of their hoarse voice. But they knew she was not there, which only made them cry harder and louder.

Almost loud enough to not hear the bathroom door swing open.

"wha–– kid!?"

Frisk could not see it, but they could hear the hasty turn of the shower knob. Only a second later, the water turned off.

"frisk?! you all right there, pal!?"

Frisk could not bring themselves to meet their friend's face. They must have looked so pitiful crying there in the shower.

"h-here. I gotcha. I gotcha"

sans grabbed the towel from the bathroom counter and unfurled it. Frisk could feel it being placed under their arms.

"okay, you gotta help me out here buddy. up we go!"

Frisk stood up with the help of sans and settled on the small carpet next to the shower, the towel being wrapped further around themselves, and a warmth was felt at the top of their head.

"o-okay. just patchin' you up just in case, but nothing seems to be broken. noggin's all right" sans mumbled, giving a sigh of relief. Frisk still could not raise their head, only giving a few sniffles in reply.

The warmth moved from their head to their shoulder. Frisk glanced in that direction. It was sans' hand, glowing green with healing magic.

"frisk", sans spoke, "what happened?"

His tone was stern yet caring, a tone Frisk had never heard him use before. It was uncharacteristic of his lazy drawl. It was… almost scary.

But they still could not bring their face up to meet him. They would have to see his eyes. The eyes that would soon show no memory of Frisk even existing. It was inevitable. They could feel it.

How many times would they have to go through this? How many times?

 _Maybe I should tell him… maybe he would understand… I-I just need to tell someone! Even if they won't remember…_

The air they sucked in caused them to hiccup as they tried to speak. The thought that everything could go back to the way it was with everyone trapped in the underground, the thought that they would have to start their whole journey over again, and the thought that the nightmare would never end… it filled them with dread, and only made their tears fall faster.

"I-I… I don't… I don't want everything to disappear! I don't want everything to go back!" they wailed.

"…kid, I––" but Frisk did not let sans finish that thought. They simply wrapped their arms around his shoulders and embraced him, clinging on to his sweater for comfort. He was stiff, but they did not care. At least someone was here. And they were still there as seconds passed into minutes.

"… alright kiddo" sans finally said, patting Frisk on the back, and they loosened their grip on him.

"let's get you dry and into your p.j's. then we'll have tori's casserole. bet yer real hungry after such excitement, heh… then we'll play a board game, like I promised ya, huh?"

Frisk finally looked up at their friend kneeling in front of them. He still looked so tired, but his smile did not waver.

 _Doesn't he… want to know what I'm talking about…?_

But looking into his tired eyes, for some reason, it seemed like he already knew, and nothing more needed to be said.

 _But… how could he know…?_

They took in a small breath to ask him, but a firm grasp on their shoulder kept them from doing so.

"it's all right frisk" he said quietly. "everyone's going to be okay"

Frisk did not understand what kept him so calm, but they trusted him. Maybe everything would be okay…

[…]

Frisk stared at the ceiling as they laid in bed.

The evening had carried on with dinner and a movie, but Frisk passed up the game.

They did not want to think anymore.

Yet they could not stop thinking about how sans reacted to the incident.

 _Didn't he… want to hear more…?_

Part of them wanted to go deeper into the matter, but the other half thought that… maybe the right time would come later.

Maybe they were not truly alone, and if a rewind did happen… they would know who to go to…

They could hear the faint creak of a door and muffled voices beyond their bedroom. Toriel was back home.

Soft footsteps made their way up the stairs. They grew quieter with each step.

 _When it happens, I will not give up…_

Streams of light poured through the ceiling, and the walls melted with the dark shadows that resided in the corners.

Frisk laid motionless.

And a breeze brushed by their face with the familiar smell of golden flowers.


End file.
